Maintaining Your Mental Health Through Self Care
So, you need a day off, and even though it may not feel so, you deserve it! Why do you deserve it? if you are not maintaining your mental health there is a risk of burn out and fatigue. Each of us has experienced a never-ending to-do list, we pride ourselves in checking items off the list, just to add more to-dos. Whether stressors are coming from family, parenting, work, school. etc., it is imperative to take time for yourself. Think of it this way, an average work week is 40 hours and we commit that time to nothing else in life other than sleep…hopefully! So why not commit a few hours per week to yourself?
Most of us use the word stress with a negative connotation. Yet it is not always. Stress can motivate us, alert us to act, to change. Distress is the true language for stress that feels like an unescapable and unhealthy burden. The best way to tackle stress is through self-care. An effective self-care plan does not take away the stress however it makes it more manageable. With proper self-care the distress does not feel like it is engulfing and defining you because you are allowing other parts of you to exist and be tended to.
Self-care is different for each of us and it is important for you to know what it means for you. As a therapist I preach it and live it, without it I would not be able to perform in each of my roles. Self-care can be, yoga, which is very accessible, or a hike, which is less accessible. It important to have a variety of self-care strategies because they need to be accessible and attainable depending on a variety of life circumstances.
Your self-care needs to be thoughtful and intentional; it does not happen haphazardly or “if you have the time.” You schedule this like all other matters of importance and you do so regularly, it should be a reoccurring event on your calendar.
There exist many parts of us, each of these parts need tending to and we will explore the many elements of self-care.
Building a sense of community is our social aspect. This is defined by spending quality time with family and friends. Even when you are partnered and have companionship and support having community outside your partnership will strengthen you and your romantic relationship.
Spiritual self-care is honored by identifying our values and living by them. Our values help define us and should lead our behaviors despite how we are feeling. Examples of spiritual self-care can be connecting with nature, meditation or reflecting in a journal. This could also mean connecting with your faith and/or religion.
Regular exercise is also necessary. This may seem like a chore to some however movement is the goal. And movement can be anything from a stroll, to dancing, a run, a hike. Movement naturally energizes us. An object in motion stays in motion!
A balanced diet also promotes self-care. The goal here is not weight loss or to follow the next fad diet. It is to eat with purpose and enjoy eating without indulging. For many of us self-regulation is something we struggle with. What we eat directly impacts how we feel physically. Start by reducing harm, so slowly replace not so great foods with better ones.
It is also important to have a bed time ritual. Therefore, an hour before the desired time that you want to be asleep, tend to your hygiene, process your day, journal, make a list of any thoughts or outstanding tasks so they do not keep you up. Notice any tension in your body, release it with passive yoga poses or stretching. Create an ambiance of relaxation and do this by considering all your senses, your environment should be cool, covers and mattress should create comfort, visual stimuli should be minimal, and sounds should be soothing.
Plan something to look forward to. Self-care should be part of your regular daily or weekly routine. However, a future-plan interrupts us from feeling like we are on a wash, rinse, repeat cycle. Some of us may lose the vigor for life and living and have moments that we are stuck and spiral in an existential crisis. Get unstuck and live, enjoy, and find moments of pleasure.
Know when to ask for help and accept it. This is part of emotional self-care. Help can come from your community, co-workers, a partner, family and even a mental health practitioner. Even if you are often the one to help others it is time to experience the joys and benefits of someone helping you. These are the benefits of having people in our lives, know you are not a burden, you are loved and can be cared for if you allow it in.
Our home environment is something we may or may not have control over. Noticing how this impacts you is important because it will direct you to change something in it. The environment can be clutter, people who you share space with, cleanliness, etc. Making a shift to make your environment more inviting and not triggering is essential. Our living environment is a basic need when this not conducive to who we are or trying to evolve into this will impede you.
Financial self-care is probably the area where most of us feel we have the least control over. Specially living in New York and how ridiculously expensive everything is. But whether your living check to check and just covering your basic needs or make fair amount of income but are confused about where it all goes; you can do something differently. It is not just about cutting expenses and it is more about how to spend and move your money. Take a financial course many are offered for free just to help you build awareness and devise a plan.
I started this by stating we do nothing more in our daily life than work. Therefore, ensuring a healthy professional life is vital. This can mean, ensuring a sense of purpose and gratification in our work, creating workplace boundaries, and taking care of our needs while at work, perhaps eating a healthy lunch, and disconnecting from work while at home.
If you’re having difficulties honoring yourself in any of these areas and feel like you need additional support you can reach out to a mental health professional or a coach at Awaken Wellness for additional guidance and support.